The answer is blunt and simple: NO! The Internet is NOT safe.
So, is it bad? Should I just throw our home computer in the trash?
NO! Internet is not bad and kids should grow up as 21st century kids and enjoy the advantages of the cyber era. But, just like we need to teach them to stay away from drugs and alcohol, we have to make them aware of the risks they might encounter online.
The Internet is like the city center, like a street or a park. Are these places safe for your kid?
At some points during the day, you might feel comfortable letting your child venture alone here or there, maybe with a couple of friends, but what about late at night and with thousands of people aware that your child is alone without supervision?
So, in short, Internet is as safe as the city center at 11PM on a Saturday evening, with hundreds of inebriated strangers staring at your child. Do ?
So, what should parents do? Are parental controls not enough? I used to think so. I used to think it as enough to show a strong hand and take my kid's browsing under my wing. Well, guess what? Just like television, there is no point in "controlling" because there is no way you can control everything your children see on the Internet, because it is everywhere: on their phones, on their friends' phones, at home, and at their friends' home. So, unless you envisage locking your doors and micro-managing your kids' growing-up experience, you need to diversify your plan to protect them from potential hazards.
The first step is certainly to talk -- not to but -- with your child. Talk about Internet, Netiquette, Privacy, Sexuality, Safety, etc. Watch the OnguardOnline video about this topic and get comfortable with what is expected from you as a parent.
Internet holds all kinds of traps for children. Here are some of the popular ones I have experienced. Train your children to recognize the tricks of the trade, and they will continue to apply them as they browse and hopefully teach their friends at the same time. A win-win situation!
Shoot the monkey and win an Iphone
Have you ever seen this kind of banners? The monkey is escaping, and Oh! He is back! Shoot me! Shoot me! Hurry, or I'll disappear again! When you place the cursor on the monkey, it changes into a banana or a target icon. Parents fail to realize how tempting this is for kids (and I have seen adults clicking on the monkey also!).
Once the click has happened, a window pops up and prompts you to enter your mobile phone number, or your email address.
This is when you are happily chatting with a friend and your kid comes running in "What's your email address again?"
How to control what happens next? The monkey seemed fairly innocent to begin with! Now you get all kinds of spam, enticing you to enhance your sex life with a larger penis, or bigger breasts, meet Svetlana from Russia who is "hot for you my darling." This is still ok, because it is on your email address. If your child has given away his email address, can you picture the next episodes?
I once gave my phone number in one of these mishaps. I recall a succession of "urgent... Iphone... free... please... mobile number... pliiiiiiize.." and for the next ten days, I spent over 90$ in phone credit and several angry moments talking to the phone company and trying to block the paying pornographic sms/mms I was receiving two times per day. And again, this was my phone number. Imagine if it had been my kid's phone number!
These were useful lessons. And lessons learned, I spent the necessary time going through websites with my son, showing him what to focus on, ignore banners, ignore any explicit photo. I showed him what could happen if he failed to take my word for it: pop-up windows, all kinds of pornographic content in the background, shame, shame! He got it. He still sees the exciting banners on the side menus, but he knows better than to click on them.
Online games and chats
You have certainly read about the Game Over Operation. If not, read this NY Post short article. Cross checking police records and online profiles, online games companies have ousted 3,500 sex offenders in New York only. Unbelievable!
You might wonder how a sex offender can be a potential threat for your child, one that can lead to a disaster. Well, you might be far away from New York (unless you actually live there!) and it is hard to imagine a sex offender influencing our kid's life while he is under the protection of the familial roof.
According to police investigations, the predators chat with kids through several channels (online game chats, public chat rooms etc.). Once he has identified his potential victim, a given predator will very quickly mention sex, or share sexually explicit material (photos for example) and if a kid is even mildly interested, or does not immediately dismiss the conversation, the offender will try and lure the youngsters into a personal meeting. Disaster!
The good news is that, usually, if the kid is not interested, the predator gives up quickly and moves on to the next prey.
So, in order to protect your child from getting caught into a sex offender's net, you have to:
- Be clear on your expectations, i.e. no chatting online without supervision and explain what the risks are. Sadly there are plenty of examples in the news to back up your lesson.
- Talk about sex with your growing children (pre-teens or teens) so that they feel comfortable to share with you, and do not seek attention elsewhere to get answers to their questions, or reassurance on their worries.
- Write up a "Chart for Internet Usage" together and pin it beside the computer.
- Check their mobile phone, look for messages from people you don't know. Ask questions, show your children that you are in charge and watching over them. Explain why unknown people should never try and contact them.
- And of course, regularly check the browser history and the recently downloaded items for pornographic material.
Never blame the children
It is NEVER the children's fault if they fall prey to sex offenders. If kids have been lured into seeing sexually explicit material, they should not be blamed for that. The adults are supposed to be in charge of their actions and are held responsible on any account of misbehavior.
Children need to be educated and protected against all possible offenders.
There are many websites with details on how to deal with this. Here are a couple of them:
- Internet Family Fun
- FBI website
- Cyber Safe Family
